Corrections

I was planning on doing a post sometime about rewriting a paragraph or two in my book, but I haven't found one that needed to be rewritten. Instead I have decided to share a very well written paragraph in "Project Popularity".

"I put a hand on her shoulder to cut her off, suppressing smile when I saw her face turn as red as a tomato. Strange how she wasn't afraid to give me a piece of her mind seconds ago yet when it came down to something as simply as a rub on her shoulder, she'd grow utterly self-conscious. Jamie Vanderviere was so full of contradictions."

In class we have been studying good writing craft, I think this paragraph would be a good example because of the words contradiction and utterly. This is a use of diction because utterly and contradiction are not usually words I use in my everyday vocabulary. In purple is a good use of a simile and figurative language, the author could have used another word other than tomato because it's a common everyday example and it is over used. For syntax, the second sentence is really long and I feel maybe the author could have have added more detail to the paragraph and made the sentences shorter.